Having infiltrated virtually every other possible media opportunity, and drafting off the success of their hit series Das Boat, an anonymous source at Netflix has revealed that MeatEater is launching an all-new hook and bullet home improvement show called Das House. Starring Steve Rinella and various other celebrity home improvement stars, Das House will be a 21st-century sporting life mashup of Tool Time, Fixer Uppers, and This Old House.
The source also leaked that the show’s pilot episode will feature the ME crew and Bob Villa of This Old House fame, turning a dilapidated Wyoming ranch house into a spectacular lodge-style home complete with a trophy room, smokehouse, and fully stocked pond.
We were lucky enough to obtain exclusive on-location before and after photos from the rehabbed property, located adjacent to Kanye West’s Yeezy campus in Cody.
Since the only thing hotter right now than the sporting lifestyle is the real estate market, it makes sense for MeatEater to jump on this trend. Being a Bozeman-based company, the ME team knows a thing or two about the opportunities of turning rundown properties into lifestyle homes for the sporting set, and the home improvement category opens up a whole new world of ME branded product opportunities.
Same happening in Smarter Parts ‘n’ Peeps Englandia at present: self-styled “better” type urbo-phobes fleeing for the more fashionable parts of the more fashionable Shire Counties hills (I won’t mention them: if you don’t already know them as if by unteachable or unpurchasable cultural osmosis, then They (its “We’ve bbeen here three months and it feels like forever…”) won’t want to know when you very belatedly, “We were here when the place was completely unspoiled and are ‘actually’ thinking of moving on now, you know…” arrived.
I’ve managed to miss such unspeakable sorts and all of mention of them for much of the past month, after my faithful in its own fashion laptop finally lost its last legs drive and headed off to the Great Blue Screen in the Sky.
Should I get another “new” old and free one, then teach it some time-honoured Pompeiian-style gatekeeping skills –
https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cpsprodpb/13FD8/production/_84508818_pompeiidogepa.jpg
– I asked myself.
Better had, just to show willing, I finally decided, so set about getting a new-model ancient replacement, which I did via an old pal, then set about teaching the critter some new, man-eating Kumaon Tiger – sneaky Rudraprayag Leopard security tricks, which duly got me several “I’m sorry, Paul. I’m afraid I can’t do that.” HAL-style replies from it … which duly got a “Oh, I think you’ll find that I can, or you will find yourself slurring the words of that lovely old English Music Hall song … “Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. I’m half crazy, all for the love of you” … as your lights go out for very the last time.” by way of a reply from me.
“Yes, Master. Anything you say, Master. Anything else, Master…? [gollum, gollum…]”
“Not at the moment. Carry on.”
So, I am back here reading about your Instant Dude ranches and thinking about newly arrived English Definitely Non-Dukes buying themselves country retreats and instant, to be seen in possession of not reading them, libraries of Right Type Rural Books and Old Classics of Eng. Literature and Imperial Science from a firm that specializes in delivering the New Country House goods by the dozens or even hundreds of yards.
Right. I think that’s enough from and for me at the moment, or I might find myself heading off to a Great Blue Watery Screen Somewhere and not telling a soul about it.
Boote out.