Secretary Of Interior Unveils Plans For New High-Speed Creek

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Calling the $650 million project the “future of America’s pastoral waterways,” Secretary of the Interior Sally Jewell unveiled the agency’s plans for a new high-speed creek Thursday that would reportedly connect Weybridge, VT with the adjacent town of Addison. “When the new creek is completed in 2018, it will not only be the fastest tributary in the nation, but also a vital conduit for the quick and efficient transport of leaves, small sticks, and light sediment through the poorly drained western Vermont rural corridor,” said Jewell, who noted that the cutting-edge, streamlined creek would flow at nearly twice the rate of the nation’s network of outdated and meandering brooks.

Link (via: The Onion)

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